Fracture

An original satirical tale from the Orange King’s kingdom.

For “Fracture,” I drew a broken plate held together with two bandages. The Orange King describes it as stronger than ever and asks that nobody pick it up.

His Majesty has discovered that governing becomes considerably easier when his subjects are busy despising one another.

He tells the villagers that newcomers are taking their bread. He tells the newcomers that the villagers have always hated them. When both arrive at the palace demanding an explanation, he gives them separate entrances and tells each group the other has come to cause trouble.

By lunchtime, they’re fighting in the courtyard. The king cancels questions for security reasons.

He keeps a close eye on people who might realise they’re on the same side. When two workers complain about their wages, he calls one a communist and tells the other that people like him are the reason the kingdom is going downhill.

Soon they’re arguing with each other. Neither gets a raise.

Abroad, he tells one ruler that his neighbour has insulted him. He offers the neighbour protection from the first ruler. Both are invited to buy weapons. His Majesty announces that only he can preserve the peace and asks when the medal will arrive.

Occasionally, the free press compares his speeches and notices that every crisis he claims to have solved needs to be feared again by Friday. The Orange King tells them to zip it.

I’m particularly tired of the gullible little routine in which a wealthy liar points at someone with even less than you and explains where your money went. Somehow, the explanation never requires him to empty his own pockets.

Still, the Orange King promises to bring everyone together. First, he needs a complete list of the people who don’t belong.

I gave the plate two bandages. The king takes credit for the repairs and asks his advisers whether removing them before the next election might improve turnout.